Recreation of the Heart

by Char Keniston, http://charlotteinguatemala.blogspot.com

Thanks be to God who brings new life to us daily through Jesus Christ.

I am amazed to see the small ways God is extending grace to us each day.

Even as I write these words, I know that people I know are suffering, are desperate for some hope. Friends are sick, unemployed, facing illegal status or foreclosure.

Let us be for one another instruments of peace…Let us not cease our praying in petitions, advocacy, in silent contemplation, in groaning or weeping

Let us participate in the smallest forms of resistance…with gentleness instead of violence may we approach our neighbor

Bearing witness to the divinity and humanity of God in Christ, let us honor the lives of every one we meet.

Slowly, surely God is making Godself known.

I am sitting in my own chair
in my own house.
It it is good to sit
To read
and take it slow.

So, I sit.
I linger over the words,
meander through the pages
and sip something.

And when I’m still on the inside,
when I’ve found myself again,
I begin to think:
what will this day bring?

It is good to rise and feel the ground
and the wind, cool as it is
Together my two feet and I,
we’ll sink in the soil,
with all its earthy smells

It is good to go out
leave the warmth of the hearth
to carry with you
the warmth of your heart.

Over the weekend, I just couldn’t be winter anymore. So, I left my spot at the coffee shop and found spring. I am done with looking out at the world from in, I decided, and sauntered through the streets in the bright sunlight of the day.

The mysterious healing power of a walk is beyond my comprehension. My busy mind stills as I move and I am blessed by the people I encounter.

Yes, I am blessed by the people I encounter.

Katherine M Schneider.

I turned the corner
And awaiting me was
the uncontrollable, unfathomable
love of God.

All the hardships
Everything that seemed so heavy was
Light as air

I have always wanted to grow up like a tree
with roots deep for weathering storms
and branches that dangle free in breezes

What seemed so hard
Is now
Light as air

In all the snow, I’ve had a great opportunity to pick up some books that I love but never finished. Particularly, a collection called Pilgrim Souls with memoir essays from Christian thinkers and writers all over the world.

The essay that most hit home was “Surprised by Joy” where C.S. Lewis gives us a lens into his childhood and how he experienced what he describes something deeper than pleasure–joy.

He gives us three moments in his life where he experiences the grace of joy–Lewis describes one of these experiences as being child  standing under a currant bush and remembering earlier that morning when his brother had brought his toy garden into the nursery where they played. For no explicit reason, Lewis says he felt a “sensation” or an “Milton’s enormous bliss of Eden”…It was as though some longing that was fullfilled and “everything else that had ever happened to [him] was insignificant.”

I wonder as we reflect on our childhoods if we would be able to remember experiences of joy, an overwhelming feeling of…what the world will be some day. When have we felt Eden?

Home is here
With my love,
With sunlight pouring through.
Never have we seen this much home.

We are suddenly worshiping our Maker here.
In this house there’s still hope for
Growing up tall like a tree with roots.
Oh Lord, bless this house.

Somewhere in the brokenness is beauty.

There was the red pepper at the bottom of the L’Arche fridge. I had just realized that I was cooking dinner for 20 instead of 10. And as I was struggling to find an extra dish to make, I found the red peppers. As I began to cut them up, I realized that the one red pepper was black on the bottom from rot.  I cut it away and threw it in together with some whole wheat pasta, parsley, oregano, basil, white wine, some olive oil, and (secret ingredient!) V8; it made a delicious dish. Another day or so, and it would have been beyond use.

Then there was the next morning when I was going  to make oatmeal. Our groceries had dwindled, and the only apple in sight was one that on the outside was of questionable quality. I was ready to reject it, but something stopped me.  I decided to check it out, and as I cut it open, I saw that it only had a few bruises on the outside, but on the inside was a tasty, crisp, tart apple. I cooked it in some butter and brown sugar, and threw it in my oatmeal with raisins…for a taste of…goodness.

Finally as I was ending up meetings yesterday at L’Arche, I fished around the the fridge for some lettuce. At first sight, there appeared to be none. But as I dug deeper, I saw a bag of lettuce that looked like it might just be turning. I decided to give it a chance and poured it out into a bowl. As it turned out, the lettuce was just a day from going too bad.

There are so many places I can go from here, but I feel like having all this happen to me in the course of 24 hours weighs it on me a little more. God is teaching me something? Somewhere in the brokenness is beauty…

I think I am in Guatemala
I think I am in love
There are bagels & coffee
Sun rays and Spanish
Camionettas and children
I think I am in Guatemala
I think I am in love.

with a reprieve from the cold yesterday, alex and i went biking through the streets in the spirit of…fresh.

this time of year is so fresh. i want smoothies and salads, a light lemon vinagrette. the kind of fresh that makes something from what seemed like nothing…like soup made from broccoli stems.

everywhere i look, new is popping up unexpectedly–new routines, everything is different. what was monday is now thursday, what was thursday is now tuesday.

new colors, blue and green; new people, i am seeing them every day now. thank God for a new start.

And by sunrise I mean baby. The beautiful new baby still in her first few days of life–the baby, I saw yesterday–oh yes God, we are back from Guatemala.

I always pray a lot on long plane rides. We’re back safe and sound, but there’s more, too.

As I have been going through my life these past few days, I am seeing the world differently. It is as if the world of Guatemala and its beauty has opened me up to the world of beauty right here in Hyattsville, MD.

My rebelief in the beauty of the world started again when I was complaining to my friend about having to go back home, she said, “Well, we all have lives that we like.”

Yes, I do, I begin to think. Thanks be to God. Napping on Alex’s lap on the way home, I let my mind wander…so many beautiful places I have been with Alex over the course of our marriage– the woods of West Virginia, New York City on Valentine’s Day, Asseateaque Island, Harper’s Ferry and Pittsburgh, both places where three rivers meet and create cultures, then again more woods in West Virginia…our travels took us to glorious Guatemala the first week of January…Oh Guatemala, with your virbrant colors, your endless mountains, your forever spring…and the waking and the sleeping of the sun over lake Atitlan–the way it the light stretched and shimmered across your volcanoes.

Before I knew it we were home, walking in our door, walking back into our lives of Cleo and community, of
water you can drink.

We are home and Bernie, the cute oldish man whose been working in Safeway for 25 years asks me as I’m buying ingredients for dinner, “When am I coming over for lasagna?”

We are home and it’s an overwhelming feeling… this is a new life…a beautiful life…